The Ravenous Toilet

Dear reader, if you are expecting a recollection which has funny experiences and happy endings, then you should close this window and find something else to read. These recollections are quite nasty and I am grievous for I have to retell these experiences of mine. A Christmas party, a comfort room, a troubled stomach and a taxi are just the few things that are really unpleasant to the eyes once you read this recollection. Hope that you can bear these dreadful recollections and be brave enough. If not, then be gone.

It was a gloomy afternoon, as gloomy as a wilting flower that surrendered due to age or harsh environments. It was a cold December because of the winter solstice. That day was a not-so-ordinary day because of the horrifying events that happened during that night. I was invited by my dad to go to his Christmas party and I was to lead the invocation. I never wanted to go there, let alone lead the invocation but my dad is my dad, so I decided to go. The said party was to start exactly at 6:00 PM. It was 4:30 Pm when my dad called. He said that he has to go on an errand concerning the party and that I would have to go to the party prior to my mom and my siblings. "Was he crazy?" I asked myself. Then my hard-headedness came and I refused on going at the event proper alone. It was 5:30 when my dad came and he scolded me and also my mom because she let me stay at the house without encouraging me to go to the horrifying party. My mom and I decided to bring Neil(my youngest brother)and go to the party fast because I was to lead the invocation. "If not only for the Lord, I would have never gone to that stupid party" I quoted. We arrived at the location and was surprised to know that the event has not yet started and it was 6:30 PM, 30 minutes after the planned time. It was 7:00 when the event actually started. It started with the Philippine national anthem and after such, I lead the invocation. After the invocation, presentations were performed by some children of my dad's officemates. To tell the truth, I was actually bored. I was glad when the presentations were over and we were going to eat our dinner. The dinner was actually good. It was the first time that I actually consumed all that I got from the buffet table. While eating, gay performers handed out their talent to the spectators and we all enjoyed the show. It was really satisfying. After I actually be devoured with beatitude, I will go back to these dreadful recollections of mine. As I was saying, I was contented with their small show and after the "good" performance, I went to the office to get cool, "aircon" air. I loitered there for a while until I was joined with some acquaintances. I busied myself with crossword while the others watched television to their delight. To my surprise, I actually completed the crossword puzzle. I was very delighted as if I just won a 100 million lotto jackpot. After my celebration on completing the crossword puzzle, I went outside the office only to find myself twitching with pain. The pain was excruciating and it was emanating from my stomach.

The program ended with a raffle and we won a microwave oven. Such luck, yet "my" luck was morphing to super bad luck. The pain on my impish stomach was getting from bad to worst. I told my mom about my awful ailment and she adviced me to go to the restroom to exhume human waste and gas. The restroom was inside the office and when I looked at it, It was as if I was seduced by Helen of Troy. I avoided that advice and I hold on to my pain. "I would suffer this pain than to be humiliated in front of so many people" I said to myself. I waited for 30 minutes until I can't hold on much longer. I was experiencing excruciating pain I could not bear. I went to the restroom and I erased the thought in my head that I could be humiliated in front of so much people. I felt more relaxed and more all right in the restroom. I was so frightened everytime someone knocked at the wooden door. It was as if a ghoul just slammed at the door, ready to tear my limbs and tendons. I fought with my wretched stomach for at least 15 minutes until I finally won. It was as if fighting the brutal forces of the undead. I went out the restroom ready to be insulted and to be looked upon with suspicious glares but when I got out of the room, I was glad that the people inside the office didn't mind that I was exhuming large amounts of waste inside the restroom. I went outside and was greeted with my parents asking me if I was OK and ready to go home. I was all right and ready to kick some ass(hehe). My dad sent me to fetch a taxi for us yet after 30 minutes of gruel searching, no taxis arrived. I surrendered and my dad found an alternative. We were to hitch a ride in my dad's officemates' multicab. We accepted the alternative and arrived home safe and without pain. This would be all for now. Until then, Monsieur Aronnax.